Tokyo, Tuesday

Tokyo Governor, Shintaro Ishihara, set an unwitting world record in a speech today. Addressing the press on the topic of "How best to convince China on Yasukuni - bombs or nukes?", the author turned politican blinked 412 times in one 60 second interval, breaking the previous record of 398, held by professional nictitator Rudolf Schlummelheim of Dusseldorf, Germany.

Surprised by the record, Ishihara gave an impromptu acceptance speech, wowing the audience by shattering the record again, this time with an astonishing 3,483 blinks in a 60 second interval, including 491 full face blinks, otherwise known as facial convulsions or "vinegar strokes". While he was pleased to accept the record, the controversial politician expressed some disappointment at edging out a wartime ally, in kraut Schlummelheim, to earn his place in the record books.

With no plans to turn professional, Ishihara has cemented his place as the greatest winker of all time. Guinness World Record spokesman, Paddy O'Farrell, said "I've never met such a winker in me whole life. This man is such a fucken winker, it's unbelievable." Messages pouring in from around the world echoed this sentiment. "You winker!" read a message from Soeul, Korea. "What a winker!" said one from Shanghai. Ishihara, 73, made no suggestion of retiring from the sport in the foreseeable future.

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