Tokyo, Tuesday

Students at the Narimasu branch of NOVA were surprised when new teacher Geoff Teasdale arrived in voice room for the first time on Tuesday. The Itabashi ward school has seen its fair share of teachers come and go, but nothing could prepare the students for 83 kilogram, 178 centimeter Teasdale. As the lumbering giant waddled his ungainly way into the room, several students were heard to gasp in amazement, and all eyes followed the young Canadian as he lowered his mammoth frame into a chair. The new teacher's nervous self introduction introduced an uncomfortable silence eventually broken by Yumi Hashino, 27:
"You're fat," she said, eyeing Teasdale's protruding belly.

Students began to talk to each other in Japanese, confusing the obese instructor even further:
"Dekkai," commented Toshie Minamoto, 34.
"Kimoi," spat 17 year old Ayano Honma. Teasdale was seen to turn red and shift uncomfortably in his chair as the students pointed at his stomach while babbling incomprehesibly.
"What's your name?" the 23 year old graduate enquired pleasantly of a kind faced Shizuko Kanayama, 59, in an attempt to deflect attention away from what he hitherto thought was an unremarkable waistline.
"Debu!" came the incredulous reply.

Teasdale further dug a hole for himself by calling Kanayama "Debu" in his follow up questions:
"Well, Debu, do you like pizza?" the tubby teacher gaffed. Turning away hurriedly, Kanayama was heard to whelp to fellow student Fusae Kinoshita, "nante shizurei na koto iu!" Kanayama was comforted by the 57 year old eikaiwa veteran:
"Ki ni shinaide! Amerika jin ha minna so!" reassured Kinoshita.

An increasingly sweaty Teasdale was hauled from the room by branch counsellor and all round bitch Tamaki Fujishiro, 25, who lectured the corpulent Canadian on manners in the voice room.
"You must not say rude to students," was her firm reprimand. "This is first warning."
Teasdale stopped by McDonalds on the way home from his first day at work and followed his pair of Big Macs with a medium sized vanilla shake, thus beginning the cycle that will seal his fate as a fat foreigner for the duration of his stay in Japan.

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