Korea, wasn't it?

Prime Minister Junichiro Koizuni has warned APEC leaders not to get bogged down by "petty squabbles" and "minor quibbles". Speaking at an open forum in Busan, Koizumi stressed the importance of building strong political ties between Asian nations and not "driving a wedge between countries using pathetic excuses like China and Korea are doing with Japan right now". Koizumi, dressed in a tight fitting suit and spectacular silver hairpiece, laid out his plans for China and Korea to stop complaining about Japan on any level for any reason to facilitate the positive working relationship enjoyed by Japan in the past. "Quit your gabbing," growled the feisty leader.

Fielding questions after his speech, Koizumi was asked about his visits to Yasukuni in Tokyo, a war related shrine and museum, housing the spirits of 14 Class A war criminals along with Japan's war dead. In a patient mood, Mr. Koizumi calmly explained that his visits to Yasukuni are to pray for peace and to thank the souls of soldiers who died for their country. "It is because of these brave men and women that we have enjoyed sixty glorious years of peace, not to mention sixty glorious years of war before that. This is hardly the time to be bickering about who killed who, who raped who, and how many people suffered and where. This pettifogging hairsplitting nitpicking finickety constant claptrap could damage our relationship. So shut the fuck up and get your own history."

As the forum wound up, Koizumi whipped off his microphone, kicked it into the air, and said "Jesus Christ, can I go now?"

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