Copenhagen, Thursday

Astronomers at the Royal Danish Observatory have made a startling discovery: the Sun has moons. A team led by Dr. Humbert Thorsgaard made observations over the last two years to confirm their initial suspicion that our sun is orbitted by several natural satellites. "There could be 9 or as many as 10 of these "Solar Moons", Dr. Thorsgaard told a press conference Thursday. "The jury is still out."

According to Thorsgaard and his team, the moons orbit the sun at distances of between 45 million kilometres and 8 billion kilometres, and comprise a range of terrestrial, or earth-like, bodies and gaseous giants. The smallest moon could be around the size of Pluto, with the largest rivalling Jupiter. Thorsgaard theorizes that the moons were formed as gas and dust settled around a protostar that eventually became the sun itself.

While little is yet known about the sun's moons, initial reaction to the discovery was encouraging. "We've got a moon so there's no reason to suppose the sun doesn't have a few of its own," said Bruno Leitfoote of the Harvard School of Planetary Science. "We're very interested in reviewing the findings when they are published. Sir Gordon Foxborough-Dunkwell McCleod Sainsbury's Poodlecamp of the Royal Greenwich Observatory in London's largely forgotten south east was also positive. "Those Danes are as smart as a hungry rat, I can tell you. We'd be well advised just to listen and accept anything they say with more than two syllables in it, what."

However, some scientists have warned that the discovery could lead to a fierce debate on naming the moons, and even disputes over whether some of the objects are moons at all. "I'm not saying Dr. Thorsgaard is wrong on all counts," wrote Malcolm Whitehead, professor of Big Things in Space at Cambridge University, "but at least one of those moons looks too small to be considered a Solar Moon proper. There might need to be a separate category of Minor Solar Moons, or what I prefer to call the Khyber Belt Objects."

The results of the study are due to be published in Science magazine in March.

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